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Nigeria: AIDS Advice Available
AfricaFocus Bulletin
Aug 14, 2007 (070814)
(Reposted from sources cited below)
Editor's Note
"We are indeed succeeding in our sensitization and public
enlightenment efforts. ... While we chose to whine and lampoon acts
such as the incident at Covenant University [which decided in June
not to allow HIV-positive students to graduate], the insurance
executive who was fired for testing positive to HIV and many more,
we cannot ignore ... condemnation such acts have attracted
especially through newspaper editorials, columnists, opinion polls
and wait for this - even discussions at amala joints, fast foods
outlets, drinking bars, pepper soup joints, discussions at taxi
parks." - Journalists against AIDS Nigeria
The moderator of the JAAIDS eForum (http://www.nigeria-aids.org)
goes on to cite the Auntie Agatha advice column in the Daily
Independent, replying to a man fearful of revealing his HIV status
to friends and family. This AfricaFocus Bulletin includes the cover
note from JAAIDS, the question to Auntie Agatha, and the
columnist's response.
Another AfricaFocus Bulletin sent out today provides several
articles on South African President Thabo Mbeki's dismissal of
Deputy Health Minister Madlala-Routledge.
For previous AfricaFocus Bulletins on health issues, visit
http://www.africafocus.org/healthexp.php
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http://www.noeasyvictories.org
"No Easy Victories" tells the compelling stories behind the U.S.
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strength from this history of international solidarity with the
oppressed people of Southern Africa as we carry on the work of
those who have gone before. - - Danny Glover, actor, activist,
Chair of Transafrica Forum
++++++++++++++++++++++end editor's note+++++++++++++++++++++++
The good side of AIDS-related stigmatisation
Nigeria-AIDS eForum
August 10, 2007
The Nigeria-AIDS eForum is a project of Journalists Against AIDS
(JAAIDS) Nigeria. For more information about us, visit our website:
http://www.nigeria-aids.org Contact the eForum moderator at:
[email protected]
Dear All,
Recent cases of AIDS-related stigmatisation and the myriad of
public reactions that greeted these anomalies seem to have provided
an invaluable opportunity for most of us to evaluate our work.
Perhaps we are so incensed at these unexpected display of ignorance
and crass that we fail to see the bigger picture or better still
the other side of the picture.
Just in case we are not aware; our work is making the right impact.
We are indeed succeeding in our sensitization and public
enlightenment efforts.
While we chose to whine and lampoon acts such as the incident at
Covenant University [which decided in June not to allow HIVpositive
students to graduate], the insurance executive who was
fired for testing positive to HIV and many more, we cannot ignore
the volume and quality of condemnation such acts have attracted
especially through newspaper editorials, columnists, opinion polls
and wait for this- even discussions at amala joints, fast foods
outlets, drinking bars, pepper soup joints, discussions at taxi
parks.
Listen to phone in programmes on this matter and you will agree
that we haven't done badly in our collective response to this
epidemic, especially in educating the public.
Activists have also been speaking at one talk show or the other,
getting free pages and airtime (they ordinarily would have lobbied
or even paid for) to educate the public about VCCT and HIV
transmission. Talk about the good side of shame!
Knowing this, I guess we just need to keep up the good work,with
the assurance that our little efforts "availeth much".
Just to further attest to the impact of our work, below is a cross
posting from the website of Daily Independent Newspaper. It is a
reply to a letter written by a man living with HIV to Agatha
Aghedo, a senior Editor and columnist who anchors the Agony Aunt
column in Daily Independent.
Agatha as a journalist, must have been exposed to some formal and
informal training on HIV/IADS.No doubt,any one doing serious AIDS
education/sensitisation work would feel encouraged after reading
her response to this man.
Many thanks
Moderator
I Can't Tell My Family I'm HIV-positive
Daily Independent, August 3rd, 2007
With Auntie Agatha
<[email protected]> 08023035139
Dear Agatha,
I read your column everyday and I must say you are God-send the way
you respond to problems. I do hope you can help me. Last year, my
fiance died of complications from HIV. She had taken ill and was
diagnosed HIV-positive. We commenced her treatment but
unfortunately she didn't survive. Since then my life has been a
living hell. I haven't been able to tell anybody about my condition
because I also tested positive. Only my doctor and my pastor know
my situation. I just couldn't bear to subject my family to the
trauma of my situation or have people pity me or be afraid of me.
I am on ARVs, but the burden of keeping my situation to myself is
killing me. Now everybody is saying it is time I looked for another
woman to marry. But how do I look for someone in my present
situation? I am really lonely, confused and very sad. So, I would
like you to help me locate associations or groups where I can meet
people with the same condition as myself and interact with them. I
would also appreciate whatever advice you can offer. I have a
relatively good job and I am okay,but some times I feel so
depressed and all alone in the world.
I would also like to know some of the agencies where one can get
treatment and proper counseling, which I don't think I'm getting
from my doctor.
Desperate G.
Agathas' Response:
Dear Desperate G,
You are doing yourself more harm than good by refusing to tell your
family and friends about it. God didn't create us an Island. We
function better if we talk to people about our problems.
I know how you feel especially on the death of your girlfriend, but
it is not enough reason to sentence yourself to premature death.
The health implication of isolating yourself is worse than the
HIV/AIDS virus itself. What you are doing is to put the death noose
around your neck and slowly watch yourself die of mental and
physical torture. You don't deserve what you are doing to yourself.
Now, more than ever before,you need love and attention. So, don't
lock people out of your life because, frankly, this is a battle you
cannot win on your own.
Granted that some people, including religious leaders still attach
moral stigma to people living with HIV/AIDS, but such people are
increasingly becoming the minority.
Besides, anybody who reacts to you negatively as a result of this
is best edited out of your life. Such persons were never your
friends and you don't need them either.
The danger of keeping everything to yourself is that you are
setting yourself up for a severe psychological problem, which could
include the desire to commit suicide because you think nobody loves
you. It is very wrong and dangerous to make such assumptions of
people who may genuinely care about you and would be most affected
by the challenges you are going through.
Should anything happen to you, they would not only feel pained at
your lack of faith in them, but betrayed by your wrong branding of
their values and love for you.
The blanket of comfort love offers soothes so many aching joints
and dead dreams. You can only get that quality of love from your
family and close friends who from the day they met you donated a
piece of their hearts to loving you.
The loneliness, emptiness and confusion would evaporate like
floating clouds the moment you open your heart to be helped and
loved by people around you.
As it stands now, you are the one judging and condemning yourself.
These people don't even know what you are going through and so
cannot censure you in whatever way. Unless you learn to trust
yourself, value your life appropriately, you won't ever be happy.
So, what if you have HIV/AIDS? Must it be the end of life? The key
to overcoming it is to see it as the beginning of another stanza of
your life. Believe me, it would end the way you want it to because
HIV/AIDS, with advanced technology, has ceased to be a one-way
ticket to eternity.
You now have the choice of living life to the fullest if you want
to. It is a matter of how you in particular view your medical
situation. If your disposition is negative when presenting it to
your family and friends, there is every tendency they would see it
from your perspective, but if you are positive about it, take it as
one of the many complicating challenges that happen in life, they
would have no choice but to follow your lead.
Read books, articles on HIV/AIDS, dream up new and wonderful dreams
about your future, renew and expand your targets in life, befriend
God more for His help in all you do, eat healthily and above all,
be very positive about the inherent beauty and mysteries of life.
Stop dwelling on the past or regrets, such thoughts don't matter
anymore.
What is important is you being happy, alive to celebrate and
conquer the new challenges before you. Don't stop yourself falling
in love because it is one of the most precious gifts of life. Love
itself is a very positive virus.
In addition to telling your family and friends, here is a list of
persons and support groups you could contact across the country:
Dr. Patrick Matemilola, National Co-ordinator, Network of People
Living with HIV/AIDS in Nigeria (NPLWHAN) is based in Abuja.
Through him, you can get a support group in your area of residence.
His contact is [email protected] or 08056163912.
Rolake Odetoyinbo of Prevention Action Treatment and National
Co-ordinator of Treatment Action Movement has her office at the
first floor of Holy Trinity Hospital, Adesina Street, Ikeja. She is
living positively with the virus and is the co-ordinator of this
group. Her numbers are 08033035895, 07028164757 or 014725349. You
can also get her through her email:[email protected].
You can also speak to Kingsley Obom-Egbulem through these numbers:
08023208647 or through his email:[email protected] or
Margaret Onah of Safe Haven International through this
email:[email protected].
These people can only do as much as you want them to do. If you
refuse to be helped, refuse to believe in yourself and the mercies
of God and that He no longer answers prayers, and you think the
world has come to an end because you are HIV/AIDS positive, no
amount of support will make you happy.
Good luck.
AfricaFocus Bulletin is an independent electronic publication
providing reposted commentary and analysis on African issues, with
a particular focus on U.S. and international policies. AfricaFocus
Bulletin is edited by William Minter.
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